Travis the Chimp in 2003. (AP Photo/The Stamford Advocate, Kathleen O'Rourke)

So this lady had a chimp as a pet in Connecticut.

But as wild animals tend to do on rare occasions, he acted like one and badly mauled the lady’s friend who had arrived to help get the escaped chimp back in the house.

According to the article:

After the initial attack, Travis ran away and started roaming Herold’s property until police arrived, setting up security so medics could reach the critically injured woman, Conklin said.

But the chimpanzee returned and went after several of the officers, who retreated into their cars, Conklin said. An officer shot Travis several times after the animal opened the door to his cruiser and started to get in.

“The animal had cornered him,” Conklin said Tuesday. “He had no other recourse.”- Yahoo!

Now, I’m an animal lover like the next, however, I’m a little confused as to why the hell the chimp even got to open the car door.

I mean, they shoot black men for looking like they’re thinking about reaching for a wallet, but Mr. Monkey made it all the way to the driver’s seat before they decided to blast off.

I guess he wasn’t as great a threat.

I’m just saying.

Chris Brown and Rihanna. Photo from TheYBF.com

So, if you half pay attention to American pop culture, I’m sure you’ve heard about the Chris Brown/Rihanna fiasco that happened on the night of the Grammy’s. Reportedly, a woman - who sources have identified as Good Girl Gone Bad Rihanna - made a 911 call reporting an assault by her boyfriend, Chris Brown.

As soon as this story broke, people immediately took sides. Radio stations did call-ins, Chris Brown’s stepdad, who Chris publicly accused of abusing his mom, did Access Hollywood and radio interviews - claiming the opposite, and alleging that Brown in fact was the violent one.

Celebrities chimed in with their two cents; some, like rapper, T.I. and actor Terrence Howard who we’ll get to later, chimed in too soon and retracted their two cents shortly thereafter.

The truth of the matter is that noone knows what happened on that night except Chris and Rihanna. I’ve known men who were in abusive relationships at the hands of women - too ashamed to do anything about it. I’ve known women who cried wolf and gotten men arrested who’d never laid a hand on them.

So, I can’t, though I wish I could, travel back in time and be a stitch on the leather seat of that Lamborghini and see what the hell went down. Nor can I say that I haven’t been mad enough at a dude to contemplate going upside his head my damn self; and if I had a little less home-training, I might have.

But, on this, we all can agree, SOMETHING happened. The important question is: what happens now?

What happens now, after you realize you are in a dysfunctional relationship, or a functional one with dysfunctional tendencies? Do you stay or do you go? Do you love or do you leave?

To illustrate my point, see, the comment of an actor who I had been slightly enamored with, but the more he opens his mouth the lower he falls on my totem pole: Terrence Howard. According to TheYBF.com, here’s Terrence Howard’s pre-retraction statement:

“Chris is a great guy. He’ll be all right. And Rihanna knows he loves her.”

Is Howard implying knowing someone “loves you” justifies their behavior? Should Rihanna somehow find comfort in the belief that Chris Brown loves her, even though, he allegedly choked the shit out of her?

Isn’t that the tired excuse that many abusers, or just bad partners in general, use to glaze over their mistreatment of you? (Not that I’m necessarily implying Howard’s an abuser or bad partner; his statement just might be leftover characterization from Hustle & Flow.)

If Rihanna and Chris stay together, it’s reflective of the co-dependent issues within each of them that need resolve, before they can have a truly healthy relationship. And I wouldn’t be surprised, if they did stay together.

But as Terrence suggested, while Chris may love Rihanna, or vice versa, the bigger lesson for us onlookers, is that everything we love isn’t always good for us.

In relationships, we have to be extra careful when we encounter negative behavior patterns - sometimes our “love” for a person clouds are rational judgment - and we become the quintessential “Why is she with him? / Why is he with her?” girl or guy.

The painful part of being a rational human being is recognizing that while we may very well love someone or something, that the best thing for our mental and physical safety is to walk away.

Think of it like this:
Crackheads love crack, but dammit if that shit won’t kill ‘em.

AFP/File/Dominique Faget from Yahoo!

Kudos to Billionaire Bill Gates for putting his money where his mouth is, and focusing on something other than his golden parachute or annual bonus.
He got in the face of some execs at the Technology, Entertainment and Design (TED) Conference, and released a jar full of mosquitoes into the room.

“I brought some. Here I’ll let them roam around. There is no reason only poor people should be infected,” Gates said according to the AP report on Yahoo.com.

He then chided:
“There is more money put into baldness drugs than into malaria . . . Now, baldness is a terrible thing and rich men are afflicted. That is why that priority has been set.”

I wish I could have been a fly, uh, mosquito on the wall when he opened that damn jar. Nothing cures a little moral and social disenchantment like a realization that the next life lost, might be your own.

Very cool, Mr. Gates. Very cool.

Yahoo! News is reporting that President Obama might have a spooky twin.

Yahoo News via Reuters is reporting this most-emailed image of an Indonesian man who has a spooky resemblance to President Obama.  I just find this completely weird.  My non-scientific hypothesis is that maybe there’s only but so many combinations of ways DNA can arrange your face; after a certain point, the combinations must repeat.   Their resemblance is so similar I’m almost tempted to say it’s the offspring of PhotoShop, rather than mother nature.

After all remember we got dupped a few months ago with those ”undiscovered tribe” photos, and it turns out  it was just some folks with spandex, red paint and some Nikes.  Or something like that.

How bout this one?

An Australian Customs handout shows a man caught with two live pigeons stuffed in his pants as he got off a flight from the Middle East - (AFP/HO/Australian Customs) From Yahoo!

Is that a pigeon in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

More from Yahoo!, this fool drove his van of a cliff near Grand Junction in Colorado in an attempt to committ suicide.  His van got stuck and he’s alive.   *shakes head*  Now, suicide is no laughing matter, however, if you’re unsuccessful at the attempt you just leave yourself open for all kinds of jokes.

My question is why would anyone want to ruin a perfectly good 1987 Dodge Van?

Reuters photo from Yahoo news.

A plane crashed in the Hudson River in New York and everybody survived.

Which just goes to show, if it’s just not your time to go, it’s not your time to go.  Even if the damn plane falls out the sky, so eat, drink and be merry!

Rejuvenate is Eartha Kitt's guide to staying fit. The late Kitt is an inspiration to single women. (Image from Simon & Schuster Inc.)

Single at age 81 looks damn good if you follow the life and times of multi-faceted performer Eartha Kitt.

Kitt, one of the original triple-threats, died on December 25 in Connecticut. Her career spanned six decades on stage, screen, and audio. Catwoman wasn’t Catwoman until Kitt purred her way into the role during the Batman television series in 1967. And nobody’s looked at Santa the same after she dropped the hit “Santa Baby” in 1954.

Her career accomplishments include winning two Emmys and scoring nominations for Tonys and Grammys. She found her niche in performing after auditioning for an international dance troupe as a teen, and she didn’t stop. Ever. Weeks before she died, she concluded taping for a PBS special that will air in February 2009. She penned three autobiographies and, in 2001, a guide to staying physically fit, Rejuvenate.

She stood up and spoke out for what she believed in: being blacklisted in the U.S. for speaking out against the Vietnam War and standing up for an end to racism by performing in South Africa.

Kitt, who was married for five years, remained single for most of her life, having high-profile relationships including renown writer Orson Welles, and Revlon founder Charles Revson. She was abused as a child in South Carolina, shipped off to live with an aunt in New York, then abused some more.

Her life should inspire single women. She triumphed over a troubled past. She had the relationships that she wanted, how she wanted. While it’s nice to think marriage is forever, the reality is that sometimes it doesn’t work out like that and it’s nicer when we are enlightened enough to accept that it doesn’t have to.

Your happiness and legacy should not depend on being Ms. Right.

Like Kitt’s, it should depend on doing what you love, standing up for what you believe in and speaking out for what’s right in your heart.

Life: So many things push me. The emails and phone calls, from people, who buy my CDs and/or attend the shows I produce and/or perform in, that communicate how meaningful what I do is, to them, are certainly inspiring.

Knowing that, as an artist and entrepreneur, I’m a leader and role model, in my community, for people who have so few, positive examples, is certainly motivation. I always wanna do better, for my family. So, that keeps me hungry.

I guess the source, of my drive, can be summed up as my love, for my folk.

WHY IN THE HELL DO THEY NEED A WHOLE AISLE OF MOUTHWASH?!?!?

It was one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen.  It just goes to show that Big Business in America is a proponent of gluttony and excess.  There are people STAARRRVING to death and we have an aisle of cinnamon, apple, fluoride, and mint mouthwash. 

The joke is probably on us.  It’s not our mouths that are being washed.  It’s our brains.

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$100,000.00 Check donation presented to Boston University Medical Center Scleroderma Research Department. From left to right: Dr. Lafyitus, Bob DeCesare, Vice President ASFSR, Joe LoSchiavo, President ASFSR, Carmen J. Cartiglia, Treasurer ASFSR, Joy LoSchiavo, Board Member ASFSR, Lou Turiano, Board Member ASFSR (Photo by ASFSR.com)

Connecticut business owner Carmen Cartiglia said he follows the old adage find something you love and figure out how to make money at it. But this year, he’s taking it one step further by using that money to hopefully save lives. The Connecticut Wine and Food Wine Festival on November 21 - 23, 2008 at the Stamford Marriott will give area residents a chance to sample fine wines and delicacies while raising money to find a cure for Scleroderma – a potentially fatal disease.

The Festival will feature nearly 30 different exhibitors from wine and spirits companies, restaurants, caterers, and package stores. Friday, November 21 from 12 – 6 p.m. is open to industry professionals. Saturday and Sunday are open to the general public from 12 - 6 p.m.

“We anticipate a good crowd. We think it’s going to be a real fun couple of days,” said Cartiglia, who plans to expand the annual event to New Haven County next year.

Cartiglia, the founder of Carich Expos, Inc., fused his experience in producing trade shows with his love of wines and good restaurants to benefit the American Society for Scleroderma Research (ASFSR), a 501(c)(3) co-founded by Cartiglia and Stratford’s Captain Deputy Chief of Police Joseph LoSchiavo in 2004.

Cartiglia said he began researching Scleroderma after learning that LoSchiavo had a family member affected by the disease. Scleroderma is a potentially fatal incurable disease.

“[Scleroderma] literally means hard skin,” said Cartiglia. “The first form is superficial or cosmetic; the hands crinkle and the face gets tight. The next two fatal forms attack various internal organs. It is an auto-immune disease.”

“The tragic part is with over 300,000 diagnosed - 50 percent of these will die within the first five years,” said Cartiglia, who estimates there might be many more people with the disease but that it’s often misdiagnosed.

“Since 2005 we [ASFSR] have raised and contributed over $127,000 to research,” said Cartiglia. “We are very proud of that. Every penny that we raise goes to research. None of the officers or board members draws a salary or takes money in any way.”

Boston University Medical Center has been the recipient of the funds thus far.

“We looked at Yale and UCONN, but there were none locally that were geared up to do intensive heavy duty research that Boston Medical is,” said Cartiglia. “We have been satisfied with the work they [Boston Medical University] are doing but there is still no known cause or cure for scleroderma.”

Cartiglia said he came up with the Festival because “he wanted to be able to do something for the foundation.”

Sam DeVellis, owner and chef at Carl Anthony’s Trattoria in Monroe will do cooking demos and provide samplings of a few of the restaurant’s signature dishes like Balsamic Calamari - fried calamari with balsamic reduction sauce.

DeVellis said he is excited to “raise money for scleroderma and share with some people what I like to do every day.”

Amity Wine and Spirits of Hamden will offer attendees a chance to order any of the wines they’ve tasted. The store’s operations manager and wine director, Jim Boyrer, has been in the Connecticut beverage industry for over 20 years.

Boyrer said Amity had “no problem getting behind” Cartiglia’s cause.

“Mohegan Sun has a large wine and food festival but it doesn’t raise money for anyone but the casino,” said Boyrer.

– By Keysha Whitaker

Cosmo-Smosmo! Single Women Rule's dating tips put the ball in your court.

God Bless Cosmopolitan Magazine. Hell-bent on helping the single gal land her man.

One article posted recently on Yahoo’s Dating site is by Christie Griffin: “Dating 101: How to be a Total Man-Magnet”.

So I thought it’d be fun if I took the liberty to uh - amend - these rules to a Single Women Rule liking.

Griffin / Cosmo says:
“Dating tip #1: Go out in groups of no bigger than three.Larger groups of girls are supertough (read: intimidating) to approach. Three is a good number because your two friends can keep each other company when a guy walks up to chat with you.”

SWR Dating Tip #1:
Go out in groups of at least six. Maybe sixteen. Larger groups of women may intimidate men and you want to make sure you weed out the weak yellow-bellied ones - so the more of your girls the merrier. You don’t want a guy who’s going to prey on you like an injured wilderbeast that’s fallen behind the herd. If he’s ballsy enough to brave the front-line, then you best believe he can handle Aunt Erma at Thanksgiving dinner.

Okay there was no number two on the version of the article I read, so here’s my own: Repeat number 1.

Griffin / Cosmo says:
“Dating tip #3: Smile genuinely. So obvious, right? But I can’t stress it enough — and I can’t believe I ever acted aloof in an attempt to seem more cool. Now I know that women smile all the time naturally (when we’re nervous, when we’re trying to be polite, etc.), so if you don’t do it at all, you look unapproachable.”

SWR Dating Tip #3: Snarl. Squint your eyes and utter a guttural growl. If he doesn’t yelp and run back to the cave, and you find his man-sight pleasing, lick your lips five times and clap once. Men like it when you act excited to see them.

“Dating tip #4: Work the eye contact. To reel him in from across the room, tilt your chin down a bit and flash him a couple of sultry glances. (Guys love it when you look up at them — it makes them feel manly.) If the guy across the room is so gorgeous you have a hard time looking straight at him and are simply too nervous, fake it by focusing on the tiny area right between his eyes. He won’t be able to tell the difference.”

SWR Dating Tip #4: Work the eye contact. To reel him in, stare him down with a wide-eyed what’d you say about my momma stare for at least five minutes. (The key is not to blink to get maximum eye contact.) Once you have his attention cover your eyes with your hands and play a coy game of peek-a-boo. (Guys love it when you play hard to get.)

And Lord Be, if the guy across the room is too gorgeous you can’t look him in the eye, imagine what being with him on a regular basis would do for your self-esteem! Nothing says loving like a big ol’ cup of you’re-so-fine-why-are-you-with-me in the morning. (Not to mention the free pass you’ll give him for doing super ignoramus stuff just because you’re happy such a fine guy chose you. And don’t forget you never know if he’s lying because you can’t look him in the eye.)

But if you still gotta have him, you can fake it by focusing on the big zit right between his eyes. He won’t be able to tell the difference, unless of course, your eyes start to cross and you pass out.

“Dating tip #5: Don’t immediately ask him what he does. Some men think all women are gold diggers. A lot of my clients hated being asked what their job is. It’s that fear-of-being-used thing again.”

SWR Dating Tip #5: Immediately ask him what he doesn’t do. Ramble off a list of things including drug dealer, pimp, white-collar criminal, pathological liar, and priest of Satan to get things started. He’ll get so tired of it, he’ll come out and say what he really does, then you don’t have to ask! For us, it’s that fear of dating the “music producer” who actually lives in his momma’s basement with a Casio keyboard and Sony tapedeck thing again. Yes, a tapedeck.

“Dating tip #6: Make positive small talk. Once I started studying other women, I couldn’t believe how negative some of us appear. When you’re out on the town, you’re supposed to be having fun, and any complaint (”It’s hot in here!”), pessimism (”There will definitely be another terrorist attack”), or snarky quip (”Look at that chick’s belt — so 2002!”) pretty much pokes a hole in the fun-girl aura you should be projecting. Some better small-talk topics: recent vacations, favorite bands, hilarious movies. You can hit him with your deep, dark world-view some other time.”

Griffin’s got some merit to this one. No one wants to be around an ho-hum Eor (well, Eor did always have Pooh, but that’s not the point). If the negative talk is oozing out of you naturally that’s a problem! Following a rule to mentally edit is not going to solve the root issue: Why are you always blurting out the first negative thing? Why are you picking apart other women? Why are you pessimistic and stressed out?

Pretending to be positive only tricks him and yourself into thinking you’re someone you’re not.

At SWR, we want you to land a man, if that’s want you want, but we want you to get yourself right first. Yes, Griffin’s right: be positive and be genuine. But don’t do it to catch a man. Do it first for yourself.

Before long that natural positive energy will be all the man-magnet you need.

–Keysha Whitaker