Something borrowed, something stupid: “Don’t get married” says this bride to be.
This first appeared on SingleWomenRule.com
A woman at my job came up to me today and said, “Don’t get married.”
I looked down at her left hand adorned with sparkly shiny that wouldn’t meet its banded compliment until nearly 18 months.
“You’re not even married yet,” I said incredulously.
She agreed then proceeded to lament her disdain for her fiance’s sister and family.
She didn’t want her future sister-in-law in the wedding. The woman was evading bridal fittings. The sister was hounding the betrotheds for not cleaning up the table, washing and putting away dishes when they visited for dinner.
And this went on. For about 15 minutes. I gasped. I was apalled. I sympathized.
And then, I threw up.
First, I’m always annoyed when otherwise attached folks - boyfriends, fiances, husbands, partners or otherwise - seem to feel that they are saving the poor single soul by saying things like, “don’t get married”, “enjoy it while you can”, “you’re better off by yourself” or my all-time favorite, “stay single.”
I’m not sure if their motivation is altruistic or assholistic but it’s definitely annoying. Could these women have been completely delusional when they got married and are seriously trying to warn the sisterhood of grave impending danger or are they doing the sneakly little reverse brag; complaining about something they really enjoy for the sake of relishing in their own accomplishments?
The lesson herein is this: We should really examine our motivations for why we say what we say, and why we do what we do. More importantly, we should really examine the motivations of why OTHER people say what they say, and do what they do. Because what they say could have a postive or negative affect on what WE DO.
If I had let Ms. Unhappily Unmarried’s public service announcement penetrate my psyche, it would have added one more brick to my little wall of men-ain’t-never-gonna-act-right. I would use her as an excuse to think that a happy marriage (or pre-marriage) isn’t possible, that you are doomed to hate your mother-in-law, you will turn the wedding into a bigger production than the reason you’re getting married, and that your fiance/husband will be a spineless twit who lets his fam crap all over you.
Now I’ll admit that somedays, I DON’T want to get married, but that’s because I like eating nachos and ice cream if I don’t feel like cooking dinner, I don’t like doing my own laundry let alone someone elses, and I don’t know if I want to be living in Indiana or Indonesia in five years.
But I’ll be damned if I’m going to adopt a “don’t get married” attitude because a blushing bride wants to have her wedding cake, eat it, and then complain about how fattening it was.
– Keysha Whitaker